preheat to 425°, then wait¹ fold, then fold again, then again whisk violently 2 tbsp butter — no, 3 the roux is a ruse chop. chop. guests optional add wine (any) MISE EN ABYME reduce until it forgets itself salt to taste² simmer simmer do not open the pantry flambé* serves 5½ this menu has no exit⁴ the dinner is not the point RSVP to no one ¹ this bowl was not in the recipe yesterday peel everything. save the peels. stir³ ² see appendix C: forks ³ ⁴ * citations missing butter butter butter
T.U.D.P.C.
home about dinner parties
reserve a seat →
about, unfortunately_

A club for dinners nobody asked for.

The dinner parties were not an act of socialization. They were an architectural intervention. A barricade against the ennui of upper-middle class vacuum. I had to manufacture a crisis of creativity. A simple request to cook a birthday dinner was rejected and the space filled with soliloquies on Japanese religion. I am insufferable. This path is, by every reasonable measure, unnecessary. It has happened repeatedly since.

Each dinner has a theme, a menu written slightly too formally, and slightly too many seats. Some guests are friends. Some are friends of friends. Some simply Venmo'd fast enough. The people very much matter, and also very much do not matter.

“The dinner is not the point. The dinner is the point.”

If that sounds like a lot of effort for a random weekend night, you are correct, and you are also invited.

Rich, your host
your host
Rich

Cook, Der Treibauf₄, Clark Griswold

How it works

¹a theme is chosen, arbitrarily and without appeal.
²a menu is written, then rewritten, then printed anyway.
³a cadre of seats. they go to whoever reserves first.
⁴you Venmo, you appear, you eat, maybe you wash dishes.
see the next dinner →

House rules

come hungry. the courses are numerous and unnecessary.
phones are permitted but will be frowned at, gently.
dietary restrictions are respected. announce them early.
seconds are not offered. seconds are offered. seconds are assumed.
the host's plating comments are rhetorical.
The Unnecessary Dinner Party Club
est. whenever
home about dinner parties
¹ attendance is not mandatory.
² but it is encouraged.
³ seconds are assumed.